Monday, September 9, 2013

Trouble (originally published October 8, 2006)



On one particularly boring day some 5,000 years ago -- it may have been closer to 5,000,000 years ago, but who's counting? -- First Woman Eve was lolling about under a shady palm. She was bored. Nothing was wrong particularly. Maybe that was the problem... everything was always... well... right. She sighed a sigh, stretched her arms lazily, and surveyed the compound.

Nice enough place, everything she needed was within easy reach... water, fruit and veggies. Being vegan, she and Adam didn't even consider sampling one of the myriad creatures that ambled aimlessly about the place. And there were a bunch of them... sleeping under every rock, hanging or perched in every tree, and sunning in every open spot it seemed. In fact that lughead Adam was out finishing up his one chore... naming the last two or three dozen animals.

When Eve thought of Adam, she sighed again and knit her unblemished brow slightly. The guy was fairly good-looking and was nice enough and all, but, sheesh, he really was dumb as that creature he had named Ox. And boring... he was just plain boring. She stepped over Lion, who was dozing next to Lamb and yawned. The whole place was boring. Nothing ever happened.

That was when something coming down the lane caught her eye. It was Serpent, rolling something along in front of him. She chuckled. He wasn't soft and cuddly like Koala, or strong and fast like Horse, but he was, well... interesting. He always seemed to be up to something. He had discovered that his little hands were prehensile, like Monkey's, the better to investigate things. And just last week, he had taken to walking upright on his hind legs, imitating Adam by stumbling about and tripping over roots. Serpent made Eve laugh.

And here he was again today, but what was it that he had with him? The little guy was toiling so hard... Maybe Eve would give him a hand. As she got closer, she realized what Serpent was pushing. Oh, what had he gotten into this time? He knew better. He must have been exploring the one tree they weren't supposed to go near and had knocked off one of its fruits. The little imp.

Maybe today wasn't going to be as boring as yesterday... and the day before...

Well, dear reader, you can probablly guess what sort of trouble Serpent got Eve into that day... and how Adam stepped right into it himself. And you know the results... pain of childbirth, toiling from dawn to dark, you know, complications of life.

Oh, and Serpent lost his hands and legs.

Peace, everyone, and keep your nose out of trouble today.

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